Love: Young Lovers, Wait….

Dear Friend!

Hi! How are you, right now? 

Congratulations on being in love! It’s wonderful, is it not?

Thank you for being so thoughtful as to share, to seek other opinions, and to not move along unmindfully! This makes the world a more loving place.

In my humble opinion, I defer (I let another learned person speak) to a doctor who once said that ‘the beginning of a relationship  is filled with lust.’ Though physical love is a necessary part of the highest spiritual levels of a mature adult relationship, it isn’t necessary to to rush into having sex. It can also be harmful to the love bond, because it can take over as the main attraction. This is a time when you can get to know one another deeply,  rather than waiting for later, and you can also have wonderful fantasies that prepare and excite you about how you would like your first communion of love to be-with this young man.

But let me say, that doctor I spoke of also points out that the human brain is not adult-mature until twenty-seven. I am not saying anything personal about you, my new, good friend. I am saying that this is true for all humans, and it means you’ll feel differently about some things you may have decided to do, later. 

From a young woman’s point of view, realize that to our society, you are considered too young for sexual relations, and indeed, a man of age who has sex with you is breaking the law. I understand you say your boyfriend is young like you, but are you sure?

Next, as a woman, you must know that sexual lust clouds our judgement. It is hormonal, and thus like a drug. It is wonderful you love each other, and I know you feel that you two want to make love, not merely have sex, but within the love-making, you will be having sex.  And you should know that if a man can wait, it is a great test of his love. I myself am still in love with one who left me, and have not slept with another in a year. In addition, if my heart were repaired by her coming back to me, I wouldn’t try to make love with her. She wants to wait until marriage. I don’t want to brag, but that’s love.

Finally, let me suggest that you wait, because I know you will be much more excitded, later, and happier-if you know you love each other so much that sex wasn’t driving your interest.

Talk to me.

Sincerely wishing you Peace, Love, and, Joy,

Carlo Atteniese
Twitter: carlatteniese

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